Visit my new website at Intentional Actions

Please visit my new website and blog at Intentional Actions.

I will keep this blog active for awhile, but all updates and fresh content can be found on my new site.

Letting Go

 “Letting go” is a frequently used concept, I have heard addressed many times in the world of therapy and coaching that I have inhabited for eons and eons. I have often wondered what does “letting go” actually mean?  There are numerous physical and mental exercises that are geared towards helping us “let go” but the end result has not always been clear to me.


I had a recent experience that helped clarify what this concept truly means to me. I was out to dinner the other evening and as the bill was presented I reached into my pocket to remove the fold of money I had placed there before leaving home. To my surprise and dismay the cash had flown the coop. I frantically searched all pockets even though I was aware that I had never stored the money in any pocket save one. My wife and I retraced our steps trying to think through how I might have lost that valuable wad of painted paper. For several minutes I agonized over my misfortune and then a light went on.


I finally realized I had no way of knowing how or where I had lost the money. If I did, it wouldn’t be lost. I no longer had the means to retrieve the wayward dollars. I could not replace them as I sat in that cozy establishment. It suddenly dawned on me. I could only do one thing in that moment. I needed to figure out a way to pay for the meal my wife and I had just enjoyed and accept what I was experiencing at that moment as best as I possibly could.

Contact Jim today for a complimentary 30-minute success coaching session.

And there it was for me! Letting go is really accepting what is happening or what has happened without judging, negotiating, bargaining, redefining or trying to alter the outcome to our satisfaction.  

We may not always welcome the experiences we have but we can choose to either obsess over them, close our eyes and wish very hard for a different outcome, live in regret with tons of draining negative emotions or accept it as an event that has occurred and one that does not have to rule over our emotions and destiny. Acceptance is an understanding that we will have good and bad experiences on a daily basis. We frequently do not have control over when and where bad things occur and often cannot comprehend why they happen. We can have control over the attitude we carry forth and the actions we take following any experience.

 I believe when you are faced with an unsettling event you will be infinitely more satisfied when you focus on what you have control of in that moment, what action you  can take to affect your life in a positive manner and what can be gained; not what has been lost or what should have been.  

My Perspective on Coaching

I have worked with a wide variety of professionals who span a broad spectrum of service areas: business executives, attorneys, medical practitioners, educators, authors, clergy and entrepreneurs.  While their roles are diverse and unique, their professional and personal needs are often similar.  Periodically I am asked, “What do you know about the business I work in?”  I typically respond by saying, “I am most valuable to you when I understand how you work rather that where you work.”

My observation has been that professionals in leadership roles do experience some unique circumstances.  They feel a need to present an image that is calm, in control, stoic, and ever self-assured.  

This in turns leads them to feel some emotional and personal isolation, and the need to distance themselves from others.  I have found their need for support, assurance, accountability, goal setting, and honest feedback, to be just as critical as they are for other professionals.

It is my firm belief that intentional behavior is the key to success in all areas of life.  I coach with this belief in mind.  Many of my clients have lost their sense of purpose and, because of the fast-paced society in which we live, have lost their focus in setting personal goals and plans.  When this happens, they often become reactive, responding to events rather than maintaining their focus.  I encourage my clients to become intentional by developing a personal plan of action that will enable their personal and professional lives to be aligned with their core values and beliefs.

Accountability to a plan is critical to its success.  Through my role as coach I assure that this accountability is maintained.  In addition, through my coaching I serve as the eyes and ears that provide an early warning system that helps detect misdirection and self-defeating behaviors.

In my coaching, I provide a supportive relationship that fosters, energizes and nurtures intentional behavior.  This results in enhanced performance, a greater sense of purpose and achievement, and an increased ability to sustain effort and attain goals.   This also results in greater self-awareness and personal satisfaction on the part of clients.

In our sessions, I help clients explore, assess and clarify goals, patterns of behavior (both productive and counter-productive), and identify pathways (and roadblocks) to success.  I help keep clients on track by challenging perspectives, alerting them when they drift off course, and pointing out when their behavior is counter-productive

Some of the benefits of the coaching relationship that clients have reported to me include:

• Develop and adhere to consistent patterns of productive behaviors leading to successful achievement of personal and professional goals.
• Expanded vision and creativity 
• Develop talent from within the organization
• Put goals and ideas into action
• Improved focus, organization, time management and follow through.
• Achieve a greater sense of competency and mastery.
• Fewer roadblocks and self-defeating patterns of behaviors.
• More skillful and effective communication. with internal and external customers
• Sustainable, consistent and successful activity through goal completion.   

 Contact Jim today for a complimentary 30-minute success coaching session.

Why a Coach?

What’s the big deal about working with a coach?

What’s in it for me? I’m a successful professional and I manage my life pretty well.

What’s the value in taking time out of my busy schedule to talk with someone about the quality of my life, my career performance, goals, and ambitions and have to pay them to listen? I have done pretty well on my own so far.

This is an incredibly fast-paced society we inhabit. How often does anyone take the time to pay attention to their thoughts and feelings while trying to navigate through the hectic world around them? How much do you miss simply because you don’t have time to pay attention? How often do your habits rule your behavior? How often do you wish you could be more efficient, more effective, and more successful in your life?  How much more could you accomplish and experience if you stopped getting in your own way?

Would you be more likely to reach the goals you set, appreciate the way you live and reap the fruits of your labor if you had someone paying attention to you even when you are not? Someone, who is a vigilant attendant to your thoughts and actions. Someone who is aware when your thoughts and actions are in sync with your goals and when they are not.

I often find that hearing what is not being said is more valuable than what is. If it is true that 70- 80% of our behavior is dictated by our unconscious mind then it must be true that we are often not completely aware of why we do what we do.

                                A skilled coach will hear what is not being said and provide clarity to the action and to the mission of the behavior.

A skilled coach will hear what is not being said and provide clarity to the action and to the mission of the behavior. An awareness of all driving forces is critical to a successful outcome in most life areas. 

Accountability to a plan is critical to its success. A coach assures that this accountability is maintained. More importantly a coach is the eyes and ears that provide an early warning system, which allows for the detection of misdirecting and self-defeating behaviors. 

I have worked with professionals from a varied range of career sectors. Periodically I am asked “what do you know about the business I work in”? I always respond by saying, I am most valuable to you when I understand how you work rather than where you work.

I adamantly believe that intentional behavior is the key to success in all areas of life. I coach with that belief in mind. To be intentional one must be mindful, focused and determined to effect change. Coaching assures a focus on intentional behavior, a challenge when it is not, and support to achieve the desired result.

So why a coach you may ask?  The answer lies within you.

Contact Jim today to learn how coaching can benefit your career and your life.

Benefits of Coaching

“I never cease to be amazed at the power of the coaching process to draw out the skills or talent that was previously hidden within an individual, and which invariably finds a way to solve a problem previously thought unsolvable,” -- John Russel, Managing Director, Harley-Davidson

Benefits of Coaching

• Encourages you to identify your positive characteristics and your strengths
• Provides consistent accountability and motivates you to take action.     
• Focuses on personal values
• Challenges you to raise your expectations
• Increases skill base 
• Encourages you to design a life you love
• Develops effective time management and improves organizational skills
• Enhances ability to prioritize
• Explores options that will lead to success
• Improves listening and communication skills
• Develops stress management skills
• Maximizes productivity and job satisfaction
• Leads to a balanced and more fulfilling life
• Helps to identify their positive  characteristics  and their strengths
• Provides consistent accountability and encourages individuals to take action.     
• Leads to a balance and fulfilling life
• Challenges individuals to raise their expectations
• Support to gain necessary skills
• Moves you to create the life you love
• Develops effective time management and improve organizational skills
• Encourages you to explore options that will lead to success
• Guides individuals to appreciate and adhere to their personal values
• Improves listening and  communication skills
• Clarifies personal values

Contact Jim to learn more about how you can achieve what matters most to you and begin living your "no-limits" life.

15 Reasons to Hire a Coach

“I absolutely believe that people, UNLESS COACHED, never reach their maximum capabilities.” Bob Nardelli, CEO, HOME DEPOT

15 Reasons to Hire a Coach

1. Increase productivity and job satisfaction.
2. Expand vision and creativity.
3. Develop talent from within the organization.
4. Improve teamwork.
5. Increase employee retention.
6. Enhance utilization of training experiences.
7. Improve time management.
8. Assume ownership of behaviors and performance.
9. Emphasize the unique potential of individuals.
10. Facilitates the building of a shared vision.
11. Creates a common language which everyone can relate to.
12. Puts goals and ideas into action.
13. Enhances communication with internal and external customers.
14. Forms a basis for career advancement.
15. Creates a platform for organizational evolution.

3 questions to help you get started on the path to helping you identify and achieve your personal and professional goals.

Tame The Beast That Runs You Ragged

Does it ever stop?

• Your boss’ last-minute emergency that has to be tended to before we can escape into the darkness of night. 
• Never-ending demands on our all-too-limited time.
• The relationship that needs our attention and nurturing.
• Family time, family crisis.
• Soaring expenses and plummeting cash flow.
• Gridlock, medical bills, national, political and financial meltdowns.
• Emotional overload and dare I say it? The end of Two and A Half Men as we know it, (yikes could the end of our civilization be upon us?).

In this helter-skelter world that we live in constant transitions is the rule. How we thrive through these transitions is critical to a successful and a valued existence.

Great value is attributed to human resiliency, the innate ability to rebound from devastating life experiences and to succeed against all odds.
There are a multitude of historical accountings of individual and community devastations and recovery that support our remarkable ability to flourish during incredibly dire circumstances.

But, how do we flourish during persistent and enduring change and daily stressful experiences?  I believe mindful awareness and conscious proactive choices are critical if we are to flourish during these never ending transitions.
It is imperative to have awareness of your external as well as your internal worlds. It is easier to see what is before you than what lies within you and yet both are critical to our well being. Our internal world is filled with thoughts, emotions and fears that we are all too often unaware of or tend to avoid paying attention to. 

Take note of what you are experiencing throughout the day. Ask these critical questions whenever you feel your actions aren’t leading you towards desired outcomes or when you have lost control of your focus, time and activity

• What am I doing?
• What is motivating me to do this (planful/mindful focus, strong emotions, a need for immediate gratification, distractions, fears, outside demands, feeling tired and needing a break)?
• What outcome am I seeking?
• Is what I am doing critical to this outcome?
• Will this outcome allow me to flourish?
• Have I lost my focus? 
• Am I in control of my actions or am I being controlled by them?
• Do I need to change my behavior?
• What is one thing I can do or stop doing quickly that will improve my situation?

Contact Jim to learn more about how you can achieve what matters most to you and begin living your "no-limits" life.

We frequently do not have control over what happens to us on a daily basis. While we seem to put forth great effort towards controlling our environment, it is quite common for universal forces to exert unexpected events upon us.

What we can control more successfully but not completely is how we face these events and the attitude we maintain during each experience. Being aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions give you an opportunity to make proactive choices that engender positive outcomes.

We typically do not step back to ask mindful questions as a part of our daily routine. This will take time and practice. Make an effort each day to step back and ask a few mindful questions when you are faced with a difficult transition or experience.

Remember, good choices typically lead to good outcomes. 

But I never planned on being a hat check girl in a Chinese deli!

So how did I get here?

By luck?  By accident? By trusting in the good intentions of others?

If you believed you were going to be an astronaut and ended up working as a Hat Check Girl in a Chinese Deli, chances are you never designed and followed an action plan that was based on your skills, your values, your goals.

Mindless focus and behavior often places us at the mercy of luck, accidents and the good or bad intention of others.

Take a moment to identify a personal or professional goal. Identify the steps it would take to reach that goal. Commit to taking the initial step towards that goal and set a completion deadline. Share this deadline with someone you trust.  Periodically share your progress towards this step with that person to assure accountability.

Three questions to help you get started on the path to helping you identify and achieve a personal and professional goal.

How Do We Change?

Often, with resistance and resentment, cautiously, slowly, apprehensively and with uncertainty and confusion. Productive change comes from commitment and resolve, from intentional activity, energy, enthusiasm and resilience.

The process of change is packed with a multitude of emotions and behaviors that are both beneficial and detrimental. Ah the Ying and the Yang of life.

Yet we change because we must on occasion, because we can on others. More importantly we change because we have the opportunity to choose and affect a better way of living and thriving.

There are experts who believe they understand the process of change and suggest that following their guide exactly as they direct it will lead to successful and rewarding change and they are probably right at times.

I work from a belief that we are more likely to act upon and sustain productive effort when we respond to ideas, structures and values that we embrace as our own and hold to be true.

As a coach, I embrace this principle and encourage individuals to explore and develop goals/aspirations/dreams and action plans that emanate from their own driving principles, passions and views of themselves and the world they live in.

My role as a coach is to walk along as a part of the journey, stimulating thought, creativity and intentional behavior, problem solving, exploring and removing road blocks and celebrating the successes along the path rather than directing the steps.

Change is process of time and movement and must be embraced.