tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32911343041553841022024-03-12T22:08:44.861-07:00No Limits Life CoachingInformation and ideas to help you identify and achieve what matters most.Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-7662794401344409952020-07-09T16:20:00.000-07:002020-07-11T15:33:01.666-07:00Smooth Over Life's Bumpy Roads<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"> <i>No Guilt, No Shame, No Regrets!</i> That’s a tough one!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">Letting go of upsetting life events is often a tough cookie to swallow. <i>Acceptance</i> is earnestly acquiescing to what is happening or has happened without judging, negotiating, bargaining, blaming, denying, redefining, stomping our feet or trying to alter the reality of the experience.<b> </b>We may not always welcome the experiences we have and we can certainly choose to obsess over them, close our eyes, click our ruby slippers and wish really, really hard for a different outcome, live in regret with tons of draining negative emotions or accept it as an event that has occurred and one that <i>does not define who we are and is not required to rule over our emotions or destiny</i>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">Acceptance is an understanding that we may/will have good and bad experiences on an almost daily basis. We frequently do not have control over when and where bad things or even good things will occur and often cannot comprehend why they happen. We can have some control over the attitude we carry forward and the actions we take following these experiences.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">I believe when you are faced with an emotionally unsettling event you will be infinitely more satisfied when you focus on what you have control over in that moment, what action you can take to affect your emotions and life in a positive manner and what might be gained; not what has been lost or what should have been or the always popular, Why Me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">There is no charge for feeling good, so why not take advantage of this blue plate special as often as possible?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">If attitude is truly the key to happiness as some experts suggest then I say get that attitude cranked up as high as it will go. <i>Attitude often determines our</i> <i>state of being.</i> Thus a positive attitude would be expected to lead us towards greater acceptance and tolerance of our experiences. And yes, I am aware that at times, this is easier said then done.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">I believe the battle cry should always be What Action Can I Take Now.</span></b><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">I’ll give you a hint about effective life management during challenging or painful experiences. It seldom occurs when we are caught in a web of negative thinking</span></i><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">. Most of us get trapped in it at various times. You know, thoughts of blame, regret, guilt, self-doubt or shame. Some of us do it way too often and can’t find our way out from under it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">Good luck trying to create an attitude of acceptance or positivity when these negative thoughts take over!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">What can you do when you find yourself trapped in negative thinking?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">The first key is awareness, always awareness. You have to know when you are mired in negative muck and be able to claim the benefits of leaving it as quickly as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">It is helpful to have a success plan once this awareness arrives. It is important to find your way into objective thinking and positive action. We are seldom objective when we are trapped in negativity.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">Know what works for you. It might be a chat with a supportive family member or loved one. Time spent dining and laughing with friends, a walk with your pooch or immersion in a favorite hobby or book, sitting by a creek listening to the flow of the water and feeling the warmth of the sun beaming down upon you, a ride on a roller coaster, a weekend excursion to a favorite haunt whistling a happy tune (not Mozart’s Requiem) always lifts my spirits.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">Perhaps getting physically active. Journaling past successes or current plans. Do something that is fun and energizing; unless, that involves a shopping spree resulting in the purchase of a Ferrari and you are still struggling to pay off your Ford Fiesta.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">There are so many choices.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">How we feel can be a choice and may be determined by our mindset, the words we use and our actions.</span></i><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">The cost for feeling good is a bargain compared to the price we pay when we sit with an unhappy, defeated or angry attitude for too long.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">Acceptance allows our journey to continue with fewer obstacles.</span></b><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 14pt;">Commit to smiling everyday. <i>If nothing else you will help the folks around you to feel better.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-73168233736012141302020-06-29T16:01:00.000-07:002020-06-29T16:01:05.563-07:00Fire-Ready-Aim Oops!<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Some of us tend to operate on the principle of Fire-Ready-Aim.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">I’m betting the desired outcome is often missed and if reached, the process of getting there was filled with worry and mishaps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">This behavior is never going to break into the top ten of the best planning tactics of all time. Guaranteed!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">If you find yourself wishing you could be more proactive and less reactive in your thoughts and deeds I would encourage you to practice a simple exercise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Try asking yourself these four questions before taking any action.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"> <i>1. What am I doing?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> 2. Why am I doing it?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> 3. What outcome do I want?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> 4. What outcome should I expect? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Write these questions down and review them daily until they become automatic thoughts. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-43517452787178200092017-01-28T09:32:00.005-08:002017-01-28T09:33:25.425-08:00Visit my new website at Intentional ActionsPlease visit my new website and blog at <a href="http://addnolimitscoach.com/">Intentional Actions</a>.<br />
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I will keep this blog active for awhile, but all updates and fresh content can be found on <a href="http://addnolimitscoach.com/">my new site</a>.</div>
Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-19422689324811536262015-07-06T14:06:00.003-07:002015-07-06T14:13:50.638-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
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</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What If? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">You</b>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">went on an adventure instead of reading
adventure articles?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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A
personal adventure can be many things. It can be exhilarating, spontaneous, spiritual,
exploratory, whimsical, energizing, seductive, filled with laughter and
enlightenment. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You say, “Wow I want
that!” I say, “Great! Get on with it.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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Oh,
not today, you say?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have to finish
heating those Hot Pockets sitting in the refrigerator; and then there is,
backed-up work projects, changing the oil in the car, a trip to the mall,
paying bills and finally, when the day is done, staring at the television for
hours. Yes, life can be a <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>powerful thrill
a minute! <o:p></o:p></div>
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How
many times have you thought about tackling something out of the ordinary, even
extraordinary? A trip you have always dreamed about, an activity that seemed
exciting but perhaps too risky - rafting down a death-defying river, taking a
class with a world renowned professor, or a cooking class with one of those fancy
talking chefs, joining a choral group, going on a date with someone you have
been spying from afar, a vacation to some distant island or mountain retreat?<o:p></o:p></div>
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How often do you have thoughts about doing something
exciting or interesting and quickly let the thought slip away? Do you promise
to do it later? <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Do You</b> keep your
promise?<o:p></o:p></div>
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An
adventure can be something as simple or complex as you prefer. It doesn’t need
to require great amounts of cash or time. All you will need is desire and a
willingness to jump out of your mundane routine into new experiences that can get
the ol’ heart rate thundering, engender excitement, wonder and laughter. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Many
will read this and think, “Yep; great idea” and quickly return to their same ol’
same ol’. Some readers might truly want to add an adventure here and there, but
will feel stuck and thus will make no effort to stretch themselves towards
something new and exciting. It is those who say, “Damn right! I want more
fulfillment in my life and I intend to take action, that will create
opportunities for more adventure, passion and enthusiasm in their lives <o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s not easy to climb into that Conestoga wagon and set
across unknown lands, with a band of strangers, over mountains and across raging
rivers. Such effort takes enthusiasm, planning, commitment and trust in one’s
ability to thrive.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you want to pursue your own adventurous quest, you’ll
need to:<o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Get off the couch and take action. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Set a
time frame. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->It’s your journey so explore the things that
pump you up. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Write out the steps necessary to make it happen.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Clarify the benefits of trying something new. <o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Identify resources you will need<o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Share your ideas with others as many of us are
energized by the enthusiasm of others. <o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Be sure to acknowledge any thoughts or fears
that could inhibit a successful outcome and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have a plan to assure that they
don’t. </i></b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Adventure is not
always predictable or comfortable, but it sure does make life worth living.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Have One?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-7664723987420723042014-01-24T18:46:00.003-08:002014-01-24T18:46:47.045-08:00Scratch Those Resolutions
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Yes, I dared to say it!<b> </b>I say pish posh to the
whole idea of resolutions, Scratch ‘em! Why bother setting yourself up for
another year of lame excuses over your failed proclamations? I am not opposed
to meaningful change, but I shall never be a loyal fan of whimsical resolutions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Throngs of us swear to make some sort of change in our
life at the onset of each New Year. You know, get healthier, get smarter,
exercise, lose weight, volunteer time, read a book, be nice to someone or
everyone. Shortly before or after the resolution making has begun, experts or
average Joes like me will write a small piece on how to stick to those
resolutions. Most of the information offered will have value<b>, if followed. </b>And there’s the rub. How
many of us adhere to sage advice or maintain consistent effort towards most resolutions?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">If you are sincere about making a change that matters
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on something that you embrace and truly believe enhances the value of your
life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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and lose awareness of what we value most in today’s rocket paced world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I would suggest quieting the noise in your life while
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means turning off your constant companions, the ever-present Smart Phone, and
its posse, the IPod, tablet and laptop. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">You are way ahead of the game if you focus on you and
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commitment when you have clarity of purpose and fervent desire.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">If you are intent on making a meaningful change in you
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plan. Take the time to explore all that
generates passion and energy for you. You
are more likely to make it to the finish line if you do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">A commitment to change can be made any time of the
year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-58308486315318593212013-11-07T08:43:00.003-08:002013-11-07T08:52:13.085-08:00Feeling Good Is Free <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> <b>Feeling
Good Is Free<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">There is no charge for
feeling good, so why not take advantage of this blue plate special as often as
possible?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">If attitude is truly the key
to happiness as some experts suggest then I say get that attitude cranked up as
high as it will go. Attitude often determines our state of being. Thus a positive
attitude should, in turn, render us feeling more upbeat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">How often do we take time to
place ourselves amidst the people and activities that raise our feeling state?
Scratch that; how often do we even take a moment to think about the things that
make us feel good? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I’ll give you a hint about
feeling good. It seldom occurs when we are caught in a web of negative thinking.
Most of us get trapped in it at various
times. You know, thoughts of blame, regret, guilt, self doubt. Some of us do it
way too often and can’t find the way out from under it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Good luck trying to create a
positive attitude when these negative thoughts take over!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">What can you do when you find
yourself trapped in negative thinking?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">The first key is awareness, always awareness. You have
to know when you are mired in negative muck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">It is helpful to have a plan once this awareness
arrives. It is important to find your way into objective thinking and positive
action. We are seldom objective when we are trapped in negativity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Know what works for you. It might be a chat with a
supportive family member or loved one. Time spent dining and laughing with friends,
a walk with your pooch or immersion in a favorite hobby or book, sitting by a
creek listening to the flow of the water and feeling the warmth of the sun
beaming down upon you, a ride on a roller coaster, a weekend excursion to a
favorite haunt whistling a happy tune (not Mozart’s Requiem) always lifts my
spirits. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Perhaps getting physically active. Do something that
is fun and energizing; unless, that involves a shopping spree resulting in the
purchase of a Ferrari and you are still struggling to pay off your Ford Fiesta.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">How we feel is often a choice
and will be determined by our mindset and our actions.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">The cost for feeling good is a
bargain compared to the price we pay when we sit with an unhappy or angry
attitude for too long. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Commit to smiling everyday.
If nothing else you will help the folks around you to feel better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-83320843558746519872013-09-25T13:31:00.004-07:002013-09-25T13:31:54.519-07:00So What If It Is ADD?
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So What If It Is ADD?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Well, I say great! Now you know what to blame for all of
those times: you were late, lost an assignment, spent days pondering and
pondering the simplest task, stopped a project in midstream, lost track of
something you were working on, blurted out an embarrassing comment, got
distracted or just plain forgot, created a problem by jumping into something
without thinking. You get the idea.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Fortunately
there are gifts to balance the yin with the yan. You know; the creative energy,
the often highly intuitive nature, the sensitive perception to those around you,
the quest for something new and exciting, the humor and intelligence, unique
perceptions and the gift of gab. There are numerous examples of very successful
people who report having ADD and nevertheless thrive in the entertainment/arts,
business, science and political arenas. There are a plethora of famous names
that are attributed with ADD. Some of the people who are reported to have or
have had ADD are: Bill Gates, Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison,
Benjamin Franklin, Pablo Picasso, Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Werner Von
Braun, Ernest Hemingway, Henry Ford, John F. Kennedy, Robin Williams, John D.
Rockefeller, Justin Timberlake, Whoopi Goldberg, Walt Disney, Will Smith,
Steven Spielberg, Bill Cosby, Frank Lloyd Wright, Joan Rivers, Virginia Wolf, Jim
Carrey, General George Patton.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
Whew,
quite an impressive list. While the traits of ADD undoubtedly presented difficulties
for these folks and probably impeded their progress at various times, the
presence of these traits certainly did not limit their ability to achieve
success and to live rewarding lives. Having ADD is not an automatic
prescription for failure, but it does require a mindful focus on the choices
that are made and a concerted effort to develop more productive behavior
patterns.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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There
are always choices to be made. For
example, you can choose to focus on the deficits that impede your progress and
may even create chaos in your life. You can also choose to maintain behaviors
that continue to sabotage your momentum, thus allowing these dark forces to
control your thoughts and actions. Or,
you can choose to embrace the gifts you possess and create the changes that
lead to opportunities to succeed and thrive. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I
do not suggest that simply being mindful will correct all disruptive patterns
of thought and behavior. It is however, a critical piece of the change puzzle. Making
choices can be difficult and complicated, but when you are mindful, you
increase your awareness of the factors that impact your life and your outcomes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Choose Wisely and Embrace Your Gifts<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-35025690512728147102013-09-11T10:55:00.000-07:002013-09-11T10:55:38.143-07:00One Small Step For You - One Giant Leap Towards Your Goal <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What if,</b> you
decided to take one small step towards a desired goal rather than just thinking
about it or waiting for divine intervention today? Would you be thinking
differently about yourself? Would you
like to think differently about yourself?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think they call that grabbing the bull by the horns,
although that seems quite dangerous with high potential for a painful
experience.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would suggest a path that is painless and with a much
higher reward ceiling.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know what they say; inertia begets inertia. Actually I
have never heard anyone use that phrase but the words ring true. If you sit
still long enough there will only be more sitting to follow. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .25in;">
One small step, what might that be
you ask? It could be something as simple
as:</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 56.8pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Putting down your I Pad, Smart Phone etc. and
telling someone what your goal is and why it is important to you.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 56.8pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--> Sitting
down and charting the steps you would need to take. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 56.8pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Making that first phone call to get the ball
rolling. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 56.8pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--> Identifying the thoughts that have held you
back and asking someone to give you a hand getting started. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 56.8pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Researching the information you need to put your
plan into action. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 56.8pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Asking your professor for help when you’re
feeling stuck or overwhelmed by your assignment. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 56.8pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->Identifying the resources that can bring your
goal to fruition. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 56.8pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--> Getting
off the couch, turning the television off and asking for help is always a great
beginning.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am always suspicious when someone tells me they intend to
quit smoking next Monday and it is Tuesday. While I believe they are well
intended, I know they are negotiating internally and chances are very high that
come Monday they will still be puffing away. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is always easier to put off challenges for another day,
but we all know that this is seldom helpful or rewarding, and all too often
tomorrow never arrives on time. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Activity breeds more activity and in turn confidence. You
can’t complete something until you begin something. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t set a start date; start today! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-7036582744116423742013-09-04T12:08:00.000-07:002013-09-04T12:08:38.694-07:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Bold';">What Happens when a Student with ADD Goes to College? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Italic';">Yikes College!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here I am on my own (finally) in a world filled with new friends, parties, social events, sporting events, non-stop activities and oh yeah major responsibilities like those challenging college classes and those never-ending assignments.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Italic';">So many distractions and so little time to focus on that “learning stuff.” It’s great being on my own but who is going to make sure I get to class every day and complete my assignments on time? And forget study time. College doesn’t have the same daily structured routine like I had in high school that I hated, but so needed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Italic';">I don’t have my parents pushing me to study and focus on my priorities every day. Can I trust myself to make good decisions? Who can I rely on when I start to doubt myself and lose sight of what works for me. Can I survive all of these distractions and manage on my own?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Italic';">Oh well no time to worry there’s a party down the hall. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Bold';">ADD and the Challenge of College<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I am sure you are aware of the multitude of challenges that college students with ADHD face on a daily basis.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
These students often exhibit above average intelligence and great creativity. Unfortunately these attributes are frequently insufficient to assist the student in managing inhibiting traits of ADD such as: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 27pt; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 27.0pt; text-indent: -9pt;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>impulsivity, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 27pt; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 27.0pt; text-indent: -9pt;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>procrastination, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 27pt; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 27.0pt; text-indent: -9pt;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>poor follow-though, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 27pt; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 27.0pt; text-indent: -9pt;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>low frustration tolerance, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 27pt; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 27.0pt; text-indent: -9pt;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>difficulty prioritizing, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 27pt; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 27.0pt; text-indent: -9pt;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>difficulty staying focused, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 27pt; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 27.0pt; text-indent: -9pt;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>self-doubt, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 27pt; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 27.0pt; text-indent: -9pt;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>low self-esteem, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 27pt; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 27.0pt; text-indent: -9pt;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>anxiety and <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 27pt; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo2; tab-stops: list 27.0pt; text-indent: -9pt;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>depression.<span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Is it any wonder that students with ADD frequently under perform and, even worse, give in to their struggles and give up?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Too often these students lack awareness of how their traits negatively affect them and how to work effectively to overcome their ADD. They operate on habit and impulse rather than self-awareness, focus and intention. And now they carry the responsibility of structuring their time and days, organizing their work load, managing their impulses and making decisions that will impact their outcomes favorably or unfavorably and many times they are unprepared for this responsibility.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Bold';">Overcoming ADD and Achieving Success in College and Life: Don’s Story<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I had the enjoyable opportunity to coach a student at Columbia College. Don (I call him Don but his mother has never used that name to call him to dinner) is a highly creative, intelligent and artistically gifted student who was underachieving and who feared he was on the verge of failing out of school. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Don struggled with time management, prioritizing, sustaining focus, follow through, self-doubt and anxiety. We met weekly through the semester and focused on techniques to help Don manage his anxiety to afford him sufficient energy to develop a structured routine that he could be intentional and consistent with. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
As many students and adult professionals do, Don initially struggled with the idea of a structured routine and frequently fell back into old habits that did not serve him well. Eventually, through repetition and with support and encouragement, Don began to see the benefit of having a routine that he could embrace as his own and one that began to evidence new successes. Don’s ability to manage his time effectively grew through this process and became less of a deficit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Don‘s routine was developed to allow him to identify priorities and to set daily and weekly goals with deadlines for each priority. He factored in potential roadblocks and distractions and built in proactive plans for managing these roadblocks and distractions.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Don focused on setting realistic expectations that he could meet which afforded him an opportunity to build on his small successes rather than experiencing failure which he often anticipated. We maintained daily accountability check-ins via email to assure that the focus was not lost to distractions and impulse. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Don was an expert on all of his deficits, shortcomings and failures. He could rattle them off in little time. He was quite accomplished in the art of overwhelming himself with a steady stream of negative thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He seldom thought of himself as a competent student, capable of achieving his goals or even performing adequately. Could self-doubt be far behind? I encouraged Don to develop an inventory of past and present accomplishments and suggested that he gather objective information from family and friends that he could use to practice challenging his negative thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Don avoided communicating directly with his teachers when he was struggling with a project or assignment. He feared that he would not ask the right questions, hear the answer he was avoiding or show himself to be inadequate. I encouraged Don to gather information that would allow him to know what was expected and how he was performing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
After a number of role playing conversations and some hesitation Don was ready to sally forth. Eventually he learned that he could express his concerns effectively, gather objective information, reduce his anxiety and formulate decisions based on facts rather than fear. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Through his persistence, consistent effort, willingness to develop new habits and greater self-awareness Don’s performance improved, his confidence grew and his self-doubt began to dwindle. I am happy to report that Don recently graduated with honors and is currently focused on developing his own business.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Don’s experience demonstrates how coaching works and what the positive outcomes can be. ADD is not a pre-determinate of negative outcomes and failure. Coaching often is a significant factor in the development of critical behaviors and activities that leads to success in college and in life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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<span style="color: #343434; font-family: 'Times New Roman Italic'; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Jim Sobosan is a success coach who focuses on moving people towards intentional behavior that empowers them to meet the challenges of ADD and excel professionally and personally. For more information or to schedule a complimentary introductory coaching session with Jim, visit <a href="http://www.jimsobosan.com/"><span style="color: #000099;">http://www.jimsobosan.com.</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-74483357074379932972013-09-04T12:05:00.001-07:002013-09-04T12:11:16.090-07:00What If.....<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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What If……..<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ahhh, the awesome power of those two little words. They can quickly raise a heart beat, freeze us
in our tracks, squash our hopes and dreams and torment our sleep.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These two little words can project us deep into the unknown
and wreck havoc upon our present day lives. “What if”, I take this job and I fail?
“What if”, it’s not perfect? What if”, I go to the party and say the wrong
thing? “What if”, I ask him/her out and they reject me? “What if”, I don’t know
the right answer? What if “, I try and fail? And the ever popular What if “, they
don’t like me? Once we hop on the What If train our journey is destined to be
bumpy and fraught with perils and disappointment. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I say What If, is useful only when it moves us towards
planning, preparation and forward action, which unfortunately it frequently
does not.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I offer <b>What Is</b>
as the preferential choice. What Is, eliminates the fear and dread of What If. It gives you real time information that
affords you an opportunity to objectively review your goal and the path leading
to it. Paying attention to what you
know will engender confidence and inspire action much more frequently than
sitting in your worry and apprehension about something that has yet to happen
and may in fact never happen. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next time you think about an action you want to move
towards and you find yourself anticipating the What If disasters destined to
befall you, stop, take a time out and think about the information you have, “just
the facts mam”. Take an inventory of similar situations you have managed
successfully. Replicate steps and behaviors that have led to positive
outcomes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Create an action plan ahead of time to help you manage the what
ifs, should one or more materialize.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Knowing what you will do in any worrisome situation, will
free you from the free fall of dread and fear.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Take control of the moment, silence the “What If” beast before
it awakens and take a walk on the wild side. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Be sure to check in
each Wednesday as I explore opportunities to turn “What If” into a source of
energizing momentum.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-86517615645380696872013-08-01T10:42:00.000-07:002013-08-01T10:42:22.725-07:00Create Intentional Habits And Get The Best Out Of You<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> <b>Create
Intentional Habits And Get the Best Out of You<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I often chuckle when reminded of an independent
financial advisor, Lenny who referred to his business efforts as hunting for
the biggest bear in the woods. He spent a great deal of time tracking down the
largest critter in the land and every now and then bagged the grand trophy, but
when his shot failed him, he became fearful of surviving leaner times. Lenny
frequently ignored the opportunity to gather in the smaller but bountiful
resources that would sustain him through the harshest times and allow him to
thrive when that champion trophy was hibernating. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">What matters most in the world of sales? That’s easy,
generating sales and reaping the rewards of the commission. Is that happening
as often as you would like? Are you performing at your optimum level? Are you
sitting around waiting for that big ol bear to jump out of the woods?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Everyone knows the key to obtaining clients - place
phone in hand and dial, dial, dial, contact people who may have never heard of
you, stimulate their interests in your product and the potential benefits for
them, cultivate and maintain a trusting relationship and seal the agreement.
Easy peezy, right? <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Not so much; for many in the sales arena these
behaviors are difficult to replicate on a consistent basis. There are ever-
present worries, distractions and demands upon time and emotions. The dread of
cold calling, the personal rewards of building and sustaining meaningful client
relationships versus the desire and demand for high achievement and big rewards
can distract many professionals. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">The key to replicable success is having a balance
between structured activity and the formulation and maintenance of trusting
relationships. The value of making calls, scheduling meetings and acquiring the
client is obvious and an absolute to success. The value of building quality
professional relationships is clear, but the critical steps are often not
adhered to. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Structured activity is easy for some. It can be quite
challenging for others, especially for those who are working for themselves or
have the added pressure of generating
commissions. Many professionals are impacted by the pressures of having to
structure their activity when business isn’t flowing as planned. Worry and
anxiety frequently appear and can derail focus and intention for brief and even
extended periods of time. When this happens we are much more likely to lose
sight of our routine and experience increased stress. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">During these times, I urge action over inertia. Start
with small routines that can lead back to focused and structured activity. Make
a commitment to develop habits that disrupt self-defeating behaviors, such as:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.8pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Exercising
for 10- 15 minutes before going into the office or at the office. This can
increase energy and concentration <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.8pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Develop a
plan of action for your day the night before (identify 1-5 clients you want to
call in the a.m.). <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.8pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> Get to the office 10 minutes earlier than
usual, pick up the phone and dial as soon as you sit down at your desk (this
limits the time you have to talk yourself out of the call).<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.8pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> Avoid checking voice mail and leave your
computer off until you make that first call.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.8pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> Alternate difficult tasks with easier or more
enjoyable ones.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.8pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> Write down a daily inventory of your strengths
(know what you do well and know how to communicate that), goals and successes, <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.8pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> Set a deadline for project completion.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 40.8pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"> Ask for help when you need it.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Effective follow through, mindful activity, time
management, skillful communication are critical keys to success.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Working with a coach offers an opportunity to build
focused intentional routines that can lead to successful outcomes more
consistently. This process focuses on maximizing strengths, minimizing
self-defeating behaviors, developing strong habits that sustain success and
maintaining consistent intentional and proactive activity. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Happy Hunting!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-35086554321140672052013-01-22T08:30:00.001-08:002013-03-01T15:51:04.664-08:00High Energy, Limited Focus, Low Success? Is It Time For a Plan? <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; mso-ansi-language: #0400; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-language: #0400;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: #0400; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: #0400;">High Energy, Limited Focus, Low Success? Is It Time For a Plan? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></span></b><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Does the lack of focus, poor follow through or procrastination hold you back from “being all that you can be”?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be like <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city>. Learn to develop an authentic action plan that helps fuel greater success.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I have worked with numerous professionals who typically prefer to set their own pace, priorities and work schedules. These professionals frequently gravitate towards careers that offer flexibility with routine, a high frequency of human interaction, loose structure, daily tasks that provide high energy, variety and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>quick rewards from their efforts. It is not surprising to find these professionals being attracted to careers in sales, financial advising, consulting, independent business ownership, event planning, creative arts, law and entertainment.</div>
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These professionals are quite often very bright, uniquely creative and personable. Unfortunately, many of these Rough Riders (Think Teddy Roosevelt and his boys charging up the hill into a hail of bullets with eyes tightly shut) also share traits that inhibit or impede their ability to be as effective and successful as they would hope to be. Some of the traits that may limit their success are:</div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">procrastination, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>poor follow-through <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>low frustration tolerance <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>difficulty prioritizing <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> <span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: small;"><strong>lack of focus</strong></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>poor organization and communication skills<span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>impulsivity<span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>easily distracted <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>self-doubt <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>low self-esteem despite significant professional accomplishments <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>anxiety <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>depression</div>
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While many of these professionals have some awareness of these traits, they frequently lose sight of how often their performance is negatively affected by them. They have learned to quickly explain away, justify or ignore their stifling tendencies out of self-preservation. </div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Saga of <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> the Financial Advisor <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I am reminded of a coaching relationship that I have had with an independent financial advisor who I shall call <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city>. <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> is a gregarious, well-liked and extremely bright man with an exemplary education and high level of corporate training. He was viewed as a rising star in a number of the arenas in which he worked. He placed high expectations on himself, as did many professionals who knew him. Unfortunately, <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> struggled with a number of the aforementioned traits, which eventually led to his fall from grace in the eyes of his mentors and leaders. </div>
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Yes, <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> was bright and gifted, but he was also impulsive, had difficulty staying focused on critical tasks, had poor follow through, struggled with organizational skills, was easily distracted and often found himself bogged down by procrastination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For years, <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> had relied on his intellect, charm and ability to bob and weave when cornered. He frequently convinced himself that things were better than reality demonstrated. All too often <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> underperformed and his lofty goals were too often not reached. <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city>’s undercurrent of anxiety and self-doubt were stoked each time a goal or opportunity was missed. This pattern was repeated many times over. Years of underachievement eventually led <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> to a critical decision. He had to change!</div>
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<st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Murray</i></st1:place></st1:city><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> was more successful when he adhered to a consistent routine</i>. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The decision to change was easy; putting forth consistent effort to make change happen, not so much. <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> struggled with maintaining the structured plan that he developed during our coaching sessions. I truly believe that we are much more likely to adhere to a plan that is ours and I encouraged <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> to create a plan that he believed in and could embrace. <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> had learned to say all of the right things to keep people off balance, but struggled mightily when he faced his soft shoe act with eyes wide open. </div>
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<st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> was more successful when he adhered to a consistent routine, but had difficulty sustaining organized efforts for more than a few short bursts each week. <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> had great disdain for tedious activities and he looked for opportunities to avoid these burdensome tasks. He would rather focus on the big prize activity and would step away from the structured, organized process that he knew was critical for his success. <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Murray</st1:city></st1:place> was trapped in his self-defeating habits and because he worked for himself, he had minimal external and internal controls to help him get back on track.</div>
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<st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> needed a well devised action plan that he had developed, but he also needed a reason to adhere to the plan and develop new skills to help him do so.</div>
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During his coaching sessions <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Murray</st1:city></st1:place> was encouraged to review the value of his goals, his efforts and to identify each trigger that led him to deviate from his plan and the negative outcomes that culminated from his distracted activities. Through this review <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> was able to take ownership of his behavior, to track inhibiting patterns and to recommit to his plan to be more effective and consequently more successful. </div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Know your strengths and own your responsibilities<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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I focused on helping <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Murray</st1:city></st1:place> to maximize his strengths and to develop behavior patterns that would allow him to have more productive outcomes each week. <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> learned to utilize techniques to enhance his focus, time management and follow through. He was encouraged to set blocks of time that allowed him to maximize his ability to sustain his attention and efforts. Building in short breaks and rewards allowed <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> to reset his focus and sustain additional activity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We addressed the tasks that <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> viewed as tedious, such as calling clients and referral sources to ask for additional business or developing reports and we identified strategies for maximizing his outcomes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I reminded <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> to build on small steps that led to larger rewards and to log his efforts to track productive and unproductive activity. <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> had difficulty delaying gratification and needed to reward himself for productive activity and was encouraged to do so. He was also encouraged to set expectations that were within his realm of competence and attainment, as he tended to set grand goals that were too often not reached and which would frustrate him and sabotage future efforts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Build your strengths into your action plan<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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Finally, <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> took the time to pay more attention to his strengths and build those strengths into his action plan. He loved his contact with clients and referral sources, but he had never thought about how he might interact with his clients in a manner that would generate more business. By being more mindful of what he did well <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> was able to do it better, more often and with more passion. <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city>’s financial rewards grew the more he embraced and adhered to his routine. What is equally, or even more important, is the boost <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> achieved in his self-esteem and his appreciation for what his true capabilities are. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Murray</st1:place></st1:city> spent a great deal of time avoiding and bobbing and weaving around his doubts and fears for eons. Now he spends a great deal of time focused on goals knowing they are within his reach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Murray learned to develop and utilize techniques to enhance his focus, time management and</span></i> <span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><em>follow through.</em> <em>You can too</em>.</span><br /> </span></span></span></span></b>
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Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-82468185381167082302012-12-27T11:56:00.003-08:002013-01-03T11:16:15.952-08:00Is This The Year You Finally Keep Your New Years Resolution?<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Is This the Year You Keep Your New Years Resolution?</div>
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I was strolling through a festive mall when I suddenly found myself unable to shake the mantra of Larry the Cable Guy. You know, the “Get Er Done” blue collar comedian.</div>
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While the slogan amused me I also realized the power a simple statement can carry in our every day lives. Just “get er done”- simple and to the point.</div>
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How often do we struggle to get everything done that we plan or schedule under normal circumstances? Add to this the hectic and often frantic pace that is laid out before us during the holiday season and the more common chant is, “Enough already, I’m done”.</div>
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We all move into the New Year with our best intended resolutions for change and growth. Most of us make declarations of change that we believe will improve our health, emotional well-being, financial security, self-esteem and relationships. We are sincere and as I said, well intended. But most of us will certainly not “get er done”. We will set a start date for achieving this improved self and maybe, just maybe, get a portion of “er done”, but it is inevitable that most of us will cease and desist long before we have the goal in sight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Too many of us will get distracted, lose interest, feel overwhelmed by having one more thing to do, run out of time or decide that it was really never that important after all.</div>
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I say if you are passionate about the goals you set for this coming year there is a greater chance that you will achieve them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Passion and declaration of intent, unfortunately, are not sufficient to accomplish the mission. Nay, I say. You will surely need: </div>
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<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">An awareness of how important this goal is and the value of the goal to you</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">A reality check. Is this an attainable goal and am I ready and willing to put forth the effort needed?</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">A plan of action. Identify the necessary steps. Keep them small and manageable. Build in small rewards along the way.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Consistent and persistent mindful thought and action towards the goal.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Periodic review of progress made or lack of progress. Keep a daily or weekly success log.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">A target date for attainment of the goal.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Support from those who champion your success.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Ask for help if you hit a wall or begin to lose momentum. </li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">And last but foremost, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">make it yours</b>. We are seldom successful when we set a goal at the behest of others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></li>
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Before you set a goal make sure it is realistic and attainable. More importantly don’t<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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set your sights on something that holds little significance or passion for you. We seldom commit much time and effort to things that hold little value for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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When you have a goal that you value and truly believe will enrich your life then I say, “Get Er Done”.</div>
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If you aren’t sure you are ready to put forth the effort “Let Er Be”.</div>
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Don’t set yourself up to feel bad at the very start of the year and take the steam out of your potential for success. </div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Don’t just make resolutions, create change that changes you</b>. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-12114659112781006552012-09-11T15:52:00.001-07:002012-12-27T12:04:24.629-08:00ADD and the College Student <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Bold';">What Happens when a Student with ADD Goes to College? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Italic';">Yikes College!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here I am on my own (finally) in a world filled with new friends, parties, social events, sporting events, non-stop activities and oh yeah major responsibilities like those challenging college classes and those never-ending assignments.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Italic';">So many distractions and so little time to focus on that “learning stuff.” It’s great being on my own but who is going to make sure I get to class every day and complete my assignments on time? And forget study time. College doesn’t have the same daily structured routine like I had in high school that I hated, but so needed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Italic';">I don’t have my parents pushing me to study and focus on my priorities every day. Can I trust myself to make good decisions? Who can I rely on when I start to doubt myself and lose sight of what works for me. Can I survive all of these distractions and manage on my own?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Italic';">Oh well no time to worry there’s a party down the hall. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Bold';">ADD and the Challenge of College<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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I am sure you are aware of the multitude of challenges that college students with ADHD face on a daily basis.</div>
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These students often exhibit above average intelligence and great creativity. Unfortunately these attributes are frequently insufficient to assist the student in managing inhibiting traits of ADD such as: </div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>impulsivity, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>procrastination, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>poor follow-though, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>low frustration tolerance, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>difficulty prioritizing, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>difficulty staying focused, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>self-doubt, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>low self-esteem, <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>anxiety and <span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">•<span style="font: 7pt 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span></span>depression.<span style="mso-text-raise: -1.0pt; position: relative; top: 1pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Is it any wonder that students with ADD frequently under perform and, even worse, give in to their struggles and give up?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Too often these students lack awareness of how their traits negatively affect them and how to work effectively to overcome their ADD. They operate on habit and impulse rather than self-awareness, focus and intention. And now they carry the responsibility of structuring their time and days, organizing their work load, managing their impulses and making decisions that will impact their outcomes favorably or unfavorably and many times they are unprepared for this responsibility.</div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman Bold';">Overcoming ADD and Achieving Success in College and Life: Don’s Story<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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I had the enjoyable opportunity to coach a student at Columbia College. Don (I call him Don but his mother has never used that name to call him to dinner) is a highly creative, intelligent and artistically gifted student who was underachieving and who feared he was on the verge of failing out of school. </div>
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Don struggled with time management, prioritizing, sustaining focus, follow through, self-doubt and anxiety. We met weekly through the semester and focused on techniques to help Don manage his anxiety to afford him sufficient energy to develop a structured routine that he could be intentional and consistent with. </div>
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As many students and adult professionals do, Don initially struggled with the idea of a structured routine and frequently fell back into old habits that did not serve him well. Eventually, through repetition and with support and encouragement, Don began to see the benefit of having a routine that he could embrace as his own and one that began to evidence new successes. Don’s ability to manage his time effectively grew through this process and became less of a deficit.</div>
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Don‘s routine was developed to allow him to identify priorities and to set daily and weekly goals with deadlines for each priority. He factored in potential roadblocks and distractions and built in proactive plans for managing these roadblocks and distractions.</div>
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Don focused on setting realistic expectations that he could meet which afforded him an opportunity to build on his small successes rather than experiencing failure which he often anticipated. We maintained daily accountability check-ins via email to assure that the focus was not lost to distractions and impulse. </div>
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Don was an expert on all of his deficits, shortcomings and failures. He could rattle them off in little time. He was quite accomplished in the art of overwhelming himself with a steady stream of negative thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He seldom thought of himself as a competent student, capable of achieving his goals or even performing adequately. Could self-doubt be far behind? I encouraged Don to develop an inventory of past and present accomplishments and suggested that he gather objective information from family and friends that he could use to practice challenging his negative thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Don avoided communicating directly with his teachers when he was struggling with a project or assignment. He feared that he would not ask the right questions, hear the answer he was avoiding or show himself to be inadequate. I encouraged Don to gather information that would allow him to know what was expected and how he was performing.</div>
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After a number of role playing conversations and some hesitation Don was ready to sally forth. Eventually he learned that he could express his concerns effectively, gather objective information, reduce his anxiety and formulate decisions based on facts rather than fear. </div>
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Through his persistence, consistent effort, willingness to develop new habits and greater self-awareness Don’s performance improved, his confidence grew and his self-doubt began to dwindle. I am happy to report that Don recently graduated with honors and is currently focused on developing his own business.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Don’s experience demonstrates how coaching works and what the positive outcomes can be. ADD is not a pre-determinate of negative outcomes and failure. Coaching often is a significant factor in the development of critical behaviors and activities that leads to success in college and in life. </div>
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<span style="color: #343434; font-family: 'Times New Roman Italic'; font-size: 12pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Jim Sobosan is a success coach who focuses on moving people towards intentional behavior that empowers them to meet the challenges of ADD and excel professionally and personally. For more information or to schedule a complimentary introductory coaching session with Jim, visit <a href="http://www.jimsobosan.com/"><span style="color: #000099;">http://www.jimsobosan.com.</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-82434438075020165822012-04-26T13:39:00.000-07:002012-04-26T13:40:21.224-07:00Live Mindfully And Prosper<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OOPS! There I go again, tumbling down those basement steps. As I lay at the bottom of the stairs looking towards the top where I had begun in an upright position, I wondered. Why do I unintentionally keep doing things that hurt so much?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After some pondering, I realized, the key word to my question was unintentional.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I fell because I wasn't focused on not falling. Neither my thought nor action was intentional. Rather than being mindful of what I was doing at that moment, I let my thoughts race toward, my shirt that needed ironing, being late for work and man's best friend who had yet to be fed. I thought about everything except those feet needing to touch those steps. Had I been mindful of all of the things racing through my head that were distracting me from the goal at hand, I surely would have arrived at my destination safe and sound. When I walk down a flight of stairs I should only be walking down that flight of stairs and nothing more. It is a simple rule with a consistent successful outcome that I often fail to adhere to throughout the race that is my life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While the term mindful is ever so popular in our culture today, the concept which has been a mainstay of Buddhist philosophy for hundreds of years is simplistic, but too often unpracticed. How effective and efficient would our efforts be if we made sure to be aware of every behavior, every action and every step in our journey and all that slows us down or stops up completely?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How much more rewarding and satisfying would our lives be if we focused on the purpose of our thoughts, words and deeds and the outcomes desired?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Frequently we race through life immersed in thoughts of something we need to do tomorrow, next week, next month and miss the opportunities that are present in the moment. How often do we set forth on a journey without purpose, clarity or a sense of value?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have learned the hard way that being mindful is not about having a full mind. That doesn't take any work or focus at all. I can have a full mind without even being awake. The art of mindfulness is the act of slowing down and becoming aware of the internal and external processes inhabiting our space and mind that impact our behavior, emotions and thoughts at any given moment in time. Mindfulness is a process of observation and heightened awareness that increases our potential for mastery over our behaviors, environment and our life outcomes. Had the chicken been more mindful, it may never have crossed the road and if it had it would surely have crossed it at night or early morning when the traffic was low and its chance for success high.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As you consider the concept of mindfulness it is apparent that it offers an opportunity for us to consistently walk down our life’s pathway without stumbling or falling. It renders more rewarding, effective and efficient outcomes. So why don't we utilize this concept more consistently? I believe it is because we become lost on the conveyor belt of life, which carries us so swiftly through our days that, most of the time we have little focus on what we are doing and why we are doing it. Life becomes a habit rather than a choice. The demands upon our time, attention and energy are tremendous and ever growing. The societal norm is based on more and more and faster and faster. This pace does not support an opportunity to observe and focus on what is going on inside and outside of us. It supports doing and reacting to the moment instead of being in the moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be mindful we must slow that conveyor belt down, stop it or get off to reflect on what is happening and what we are responding to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Step off, take a break, relax, take deep breaths, and observe all that is going on around you and within you. Set aside time each day to become aware of your actions, thoughts, distractions and feelings. Ask yourself; are they in sync with my goals, priorities and values? Mindful observation provides clarity and awareness and a greater opportunity for self-actualization, success and a life more in harmony with your personal values and beliefs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Practice sitting quietly in a chair for 5-10 minutes and observe all that passes through your mind. Some people find it helpful to picture each thought/feeling floating by on a cloud. Name it and let it go rather than trying to concentrate on distracting and unsettling thoughts or feelings. Observe your body and the sensations going on within it. Observe sounds and sights in the room and become aware of how you respond to them rather than being distracted by them. Remember you are not trying to create any particular sensation, action, thought or feeling. You are merely an observer sitting in a window watching you and the world you live in. Sounds and thoughts will distract you at times. This is normal. As you become aware of your distractions bring yourself back to the exercise. Becoming aware of your distractions is an example of heightened awareness, which is what you are striving for.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">This exercise is simple to do and can fuel a more enriching and rewarding life. Take the time to practice your mindful focus on a daily basis. Know what is driving your train. Understand where you are going and why. Learn to identify and master your distractions. Increase your opportunity to choose behaviors that lead to successful outcomes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Remember! If a chicken talks you into crossing the road with it, know what prompted you to say ok and always, always make sure the chicken goes first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-52109414839815846402012-03-25T14:11:00.000-07:002012-03-25T14:11:28.344-07:00Self Doubt-You Can Conquer It<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">Self Doubt-You Can Conquer It</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">When is it good to feel bad about yourself? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">Hopefully everyone quickly perceives this as a trick question, because the answer will always be “Never”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yet there are times when many adults do feel and believe that they are incompetent, inadequate and question their ability to perform successfully on a day to day basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">How do you trust that you can when you are convinced you can’t?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">I doubt that the birthing experience is sufficient to create persistent self-doubt and low self-esteem. It takes years of stressful, disappointing and frustrating experiences to acquire habitual feelings of inadequacy. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">Persistent underachievement and low self-esteem are traits frequently associated with adults carrying the tag of ADD. Years of inconsistent focus, poor follow-through, impulsive actions, failed efforts/expectations and negative self-judgments will lead the bravest soul into the world of self-doubt and anticipated failure. These chronic patterns will inhibit one’s ability for objective self-appraisal and will certainly impede the enthusiasm and willingness to invest in a task. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">I have even witnessed this pattern in a number of professionals whose colleagues would consider them to be quite successful. Despite their numerous successes and status, these professionals frequently measure themselves as being less accomplished than their peers and walk through life feeling inadequate, incompetent and fearing and anticipating failure. Their self-perception and beliefs are often incongruent with their skills and level of accomplishments. It is not unusual for some of these professionals to give up or give in once they begin to question the value of their efforts. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">Anticipated failure will dampen the spirits and activities of most competent citizens of this fair planet. How much more energy and enthusiasm would someone experience if they could identify and trust that their skills and assets will lead them to successful outcomes? Altering these destructive patterns of perception and expectation can be a slow<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>process and yet the rewards can be well worth the time and effort.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">The first step is to always challenge yourself to develop a more objective perspective and new habits of thought and action. Doing this typically requires the assistance of someone who has a more objective perspective. Most often that person is a coach, or a counselor. A close friend or family member can offer some objectivity but, often times, is more motivated to make you feel better than to develop greater objectivity and new habits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">A simple exercise that can be initiated quickly is to begin to journal accomplishments and successes each day. Add in traits and skills that you used that day, actions that you took that you are proud of. Develop the habit of starting the day by identifying one success that you want to have that day and identify how you are going to reach that goal.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: justify;">Negative thoughts are automatic, persistent and destructive. Rather than thinking about what you failed at, take the time to challenge these thoughts by remaining mindful of what you have achieved and how you accomplished it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div>Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-62902101241575134622012-02-06T15:39:00.000-08:002017-07-05T10:43:41.670-07:00Occams Razor<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Occam’s Razor</b> is a 14<sup>th</sup> century principle that should still hold true today. In its most basic form it proposes that all things being equal, the <span lang="EN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN;">simplest explanation/solution is usually the correct one. Aristotle also proposed that </span>"<b>Nature operates in the shortest way possible.</b>" </div>
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Yet how often do we find ourselves distracted by the complications of our internal and external worlds. Good and simple choices are getting more and more complicated to make as each day goes by. Think about how difficult it is to choose a cell phone, the newest techno-gadget, an automobile, that ideal job the perfect mate or any other of the hundreds of things we believe or are told we must have.</div>
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Is it any wonder that many of us become so distracted by our choices and doubts that we seldom or never reach our goals at all? </div>
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Keep it simple is an adage that has been passed along for centuries but seldom adhered to.</div>
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Setting priorities and goals is something that most of us feel compelled to do are often encouraged to do. How often do we get mired down by all of our lists and priorities and feel immobilized by the sheer weight of our responsibilities and want to's?</div>
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I encourage practicing intentional behavior on a daily basis, which, often leads to successful outcomes and less regret. Intentional behavior is knowing: what you are doing, why you are doing it and most importantly <i><b>only</b> <b>doing</b></i> what you intended to do. If you desire a life less cluttered and more energizing you will need to remember that goal and act on it daily. </div>
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Focus on one or two priorities at a time and start with the one that can is most easily achieved and then build on that. </div>
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A few successes can enrich the soil and winning habits can bloom .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-53966852059787050632012-02-03T08:41:00.000-08:002012-02-03T08:43:58.503-08:00Forbes Article Focuses on Professional Women with ADD<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was recently interviewed by <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Molly Cain, CEO, of </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://www.glassheel.com/" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #0f2d5f; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: transparent; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; outline-color: initial; outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">GlassHeel.com</span></a></span></span> for a <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/glassheel/2012/01/26/shiny-objects-and-other-things-that-distract-me/">Forbes article</a> about professional Women with ADD. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Among my tips: </span><br />
<ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Practice intentional behavior</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;">Don’t try to solve everything at one time</span></li>
</ul><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/glassheel/2012/01/26/shiny-objects-and-other-things-that-distract-me/">Read the complete article</a> (I'm quoted on <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/glassheel/2012/01/26/shiny-objects-and-other-things-that-distract-me/3/">page 3</a>).</span></span>Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-61732835154976848842012-02-03T08:19:00.000-08:002012-02-03T08:20:41.079-08:00Act First, Think Later<div class="p1"><span class="s1"><i>Fire-Ready-Aim</i> is a term often used to describe behavior that is impulsive and renders problematic outcomes. </span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1"><br />
</span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">Reacting hastily without considering potential consequences, difficulty stopping or altering a destructive action once it has been put into motion, blurting out thoughts without forethought of the outcome are some examples of impulsive behavior. Impulsive, unfocused behavior complicates our lives and frequently leads to conflict and/or negative consequences at the professional and personal level. </span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"> </span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">Impulsivity is something many of us struggle with at times, some more than others. </span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">If you find yourself wishing you could be more proactive and less reactive in your thoughts and deeds I would encourage practicing the following simple exercise.</span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">Before taking any action ask yourself these four questions:</span></div><div class="p1"></div><ol><li>What am I doing?</li>
<li>Why am I doing it?</li>
<li>What outcome do I want?</li>
<li>What outcome should I expect? </li>
</ol><div class="p1"><span class="s1">Write these questions down and keep them with you. Practice referring to the page until they become automatic thoughts. </span><br />
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</span></div><div class="p2"><span class="s1"></span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1"><i>Mastering this technique will go a long way toward harnessing impulsive behavior. Ready-Aim-Fire!</i></span></div>Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-86940277908125811112012-01-15T10:36:00.000-08:002012-02-03T11:19:42.886-08:00Stop Fretting and Start Doing<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Stop Fretting and Start Doing </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">How good does it have to be? This is a challenge I offer to many of the professionals I work with, who procrastinate and suffer for days and weeks, because they fear their completed projects won’t be perfect. </span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The fear of failure, disappointment and of disappointing others can be immobilizing and at times destructive for many of us. </span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">In an effort to avoid this emotional discomfort, many professionals will look for something less stressful and less emotionally taxing to attend to. This re-focusing will afford short run relief, but will eventually add to the discomfort as the avoidance will inevitably raise their level of anxiety.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Each day a project or task is avoided leads to another layer of worry and anxiety as deadlines approach and procrastination increases. The beast grows until you fear it will devour you. Eventually you can’t avoid your worry as you ponder over and over the beginning, middle and end of the project that is never quite out of your mind and never quite started. As the deadline approaches you scramble, much the way fighter pilots race to their planes when a red alert is sounded. You muster all of your creative energy and work frenetically late into the wee hours and complete the assignment just as the final bell tolls. You experience a great sense of relief and feel emotionally and physically drained and promise yourself, “Never Again." You swear you will start earlier the next time something is due and complete the assignment with plenty of time to spare. And the cycle of what if and avoiding begins anew.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">While this pattern of what if and avoidance can be frustrating, disheartening and destructive at times it does not have to eternally rule your behavior and moods. This pattern can be reshaped with mindful focus and a willingness to adapt new behaviors. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Here are a few tips to get you started towards procrastinating less and being proactive more.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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<ul><li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Build momentum by breaking the task into steps and start with the one that seems the least onerous. Reward yourself at the end of each step. Rewards can be something as simple as a cup of coffee, 10 minutes to read an article that is interesting to you or a trip to the water cooler or as grand as setting a day to do something that is fun for you.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Get a break from the stress by alternating the more and less difficult tasks. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Set a deadline to begin and a completion date and commit to that deadline by sharing it with someone who will hold you accountable.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Commit some period of time daily to work on the project</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Review your progress at the end of the day or week with someone you trust.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Take an inventory of prior consequences endured from efforts to avoid a taxing project and determine if it is worth the same level of suffering.</span></li>
</ul></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 22pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Remember:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 40pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">1.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Be honest with yourself when setting an expectation. Don’t commit to a task if you know it is so difficult or burdensome that you will never even tend to it. You surely will never complete it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 40pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">2.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That anxiety is a call to action. It will continue to grow as long as we avoid the situation and will subside as soon as we take control and become active.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 40pt; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">3.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Ask yourself, “How good does this have to be to be good enough”? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">I assure the professionals I work with that few things in their lives will ever be perfect, but many things can and will be good enough. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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</div>Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-1904327702033115052012-01-06T10:35:00.000-08:002012-01-06T10:37:08.296-08:00How Long Will You Wait?Your successes will be defined by the actions you take, not by the actions of others or the fates of the universe.<br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">I hold this truth to be self-evident. How often do you sit in your wishes, your fears and longings waiting for the universe to bring change and good fortune to your doorstep? Many of us will sit for days, weeks, months and even years waiting for a desired life change or some type of emotional or physical relief. </div><div class="MsoNormal">I believe such change and relief only occurs after we take action that is intentional and focused. The power to positively affect your life comes from within, not from outside forces.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"></span></div><div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-1437793298278617542" style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 496px;"><div style="text-align: left;"><em style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: center;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="mailto:jsobosan@sbcglobal.net" style="color: #2288bb; text-decoration: none;">Contact Jim</a> today for a complimentary 30-minute success coaching session.</span></em></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;"><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">This is the time of year that many of us will set well-intended goals geared towards self-improving, life enhancing change. I’m going to apply for that ideal job I keep thinking about, I’m going to get in better shape, I’m going to improve my health, I’m going to take that class I always wanted to take, I’m going to get better organized, I’m going to stop procrastinating and start doing, I’m going to stop feeling down all of the time, and everyone’s favorite, I’m going to start a diet and lose weight. Often the mantra is I’m going to start at the beginning of next week or as soon as I-----. Too often we anticipate the arrival of a magical intervention that seldom arrives. I wonder how many of us will still be focused on our desired changes within the next few months.</div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal">Waiting to be rescued from inertia only assures the opportunity to continue waiting to be rescued. Success comes from focus, intention and the action that <b>you take</b> on a consistent basis.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
If you are going to set a goal or make a resolution this new year let it begin with a commitment to take responsibility for your actions and for your successes.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div>Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-14377932982786175422011-12-28T18:10:00.000-08:002011-12-28T18:10:06.751-08:00Dealing with Holiday Distractions<div class="p1">The sounds, the lights, the colors and activities, oh my! </div><div class="p1"><span class="s1"><br />
</span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">The holiday season presents even greater challenges for those adults who struggle with the traits of ADD.</span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1"><br />
</span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">This is not a time that is merciful to someone who is easily distracted by highly stimulating activities. Getting caught up in the swirling circus of holiday parties, non-stop shopping specials and the multiple sights and sounds of holiday activities is a piece of cake for even those highly organized and well focused individuals. What chance does that leave for a well-managed, organized and balanced holiday season for someone who is easily distracted, has difficulty prioritizing and completing tasks on time and who suffers painful procrastination with every decision to be made? </span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1"><br />
</span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">Minimize your angst and grief by ordering your activities as much as possible.</span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1"><br />
</span></div><div class="p1"><span class="s1">Take some time to plan out your holiday agenda.</span></div><ul><li class="li1"><span class="s2"></span><span class="s1">List all of your scheduled activities and identify the time frames for each one.</span></li>
<li class="li1"><span class="s2"></span><span class="s1">Discuss realistic expectations with someone you trust (folks with ADD typically set expectations that are unrealistic and unreachable and then feel frustrated and disappointed when the expectations are not met) and write them down.</span></li>
<li class="li1"><span class="s2"></span><span class="s1">Keep your to do list short. Identify 1-5 tasks at a time. Don’t add to the list until you have completed the ones already on the list. </span></li>
<li class="li1"><span class="s2"></span><span class="s1">Identify your most important goals for the holidays and the steps required to reach those goals. </span></li>
<li class="li1"><span class="s2"></span><span class="s1">Share your goals with someone you trust and review them through the week. </span></li>
<li class="li1"><span class="s2"></span><span class="s1">Set a shopping budget. Leave your credit cards at home and shop with cash if at all possible. Review your spending and your budget after shopping. </span></li>
<li class="li1"><span class="s2"></span><span class="s1">Tell someone when you have gotten off track and ask for help.</span></li>
<li class="li1"><span class="s2"></span><span class="s1">Have fun and reward yourself for being good, Santa will. </span></li>
</ul><div><em style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; text-align: center;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="mailto:jsobosan@sbcglobal.net">Contact Jim</a> today for a complimentary 30-minute success coaching session.</span></em></div>Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-20880654025336221022011-12-28T17:39:00.000-08:002011-12-28T17:39:27.886-08:00Build It To Last<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-top: 8px;">Do you hate following daily routines? Are you prone to resenting structure and rebelling against the idea of “having to do something”? Do you get energized and distracted by the biggest and shiniest marble in front of you? Are you likely to race after the biggest bear in the woods before you have gathered all the tools you will need to catch the big fella? Are you likely to cut corners and rationalize your willingness to do so?<br />
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Are you as successful as you try to be, as you would like to be?<br />
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I have worked with many professionals who claim to have traits of ADD and who have answered yes to all of the questions above except the last one.<br />
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What we have discovered through our work together is that the development and adherence to a “system” is critical to their success. What we have also learned is that following a system can be a painstakingly slow process for a good number of them.<br />
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It seems that the one critical factor in building a workable and valuable routine is the need for each person to claim it as their own. Folks who typically resent being directed or told what to do will instinctively react by doing the opposite, finding a distraction or do nothing at all, which severely impedes their effectiveness and productivity.<br />
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Successful activity often requires persistent repetition of mundane steps that may not be fun, may require focus and concentration and may not be easy. While these steps may not immediately lead to the shiniest marble or biggest bear in the woods they will, if adhered to consistently, lead to successful outcomes. I often hear one of my thriving business clients offer this refrain “when I follow my system everyday I do the things that grow my business and when I am distracted by that potentially huge sale (bear in the woods) my routine and business suffers”. This successful business person fought against many ideas/systems that various professionals offered to him for years. He eventually learned to embrace a routine that he identified as one that made sense to him and one that he could own as his alone.<br />
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If you want to be more successful make the challenge personal by developing your own routine and following a system that fits the way you work. Remember to be honest when identifying steps that lead to your success rather than looking for the quickest or easiest fix.<br />
<ul><li>Identify your desired outcomes.</li>
<li>List all of the steps you will need to take to reach this outcome</li>
<li>Prioritize these steps. What is the order they will need to follow? Which steps will need to be performed most often? How often? Which steps will offer the greatest discomfort and thus lead to the greatest resistance? When would be the best time to attend to these tasks? </li>
<li>What time of the day are you most productive? Which steps should be performed during those times? </li>
<li>What type of support/assistance will you need? Who will you turn to for that assistance? </li>
<li>What rewards will you gain from following this routine?</li>
<li>Identify all of the reasons why you would not want to follow your routine?</li>
<li>What outcome should you expect if you stop?</li>
<li>Are you satisfied with that outcome?</li>
<li>How will you know when you have stopped following the routine you have developed?</li>
<li>Who do you want to share your activity with?</li>
<li>Who will hold you accountable when you are getting off track? </li>
</ul> Remember! Each time you join the rebel forces and attack the bastion of “you have to”, you are assailing the foundation of your own <strong>kingdom</strong>.<br />
</div>Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-79536752020992472342011-12-28T17:37:00.000-08:002011-12-28T17:37:36.714-08:00Letting Go<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; margin-top: 8px;"> <span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">“Letting go” is a frequently used concept, I have heard addressed many times in the world of therapy and coaching that I have inhabited for eons and eons. I have often wondered what does “letting go” actually mean? There are numerous physical and mental exercises that are geared towards helping us “let go” but the end result has not always been clear to me.</span><br />
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<span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I had a recent experience that helped clarify what this concept truly means to me. I was out to dinner the other evening and as the bill was presented I reached into my pocket to remove the fold of money I had placed there before leaving home. To my surprise and dismay the cash had flown the coop. I frantically searched all pockets even though I was aware that I had never stored the money in any pocket save one. My wife and I retraced our steps trying to think through how I might have lost that valuable wad of painted paper. For several minutes I agonized over my misfortune and then a light went on.</span><br />
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<span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I finally realized I had no way of knowing how or where I had lost the money. If I did, it wouldn’t be lost. I no longer had the means to retrieve the wayward dollars. I could not replace them as I sat in that cozy establishment. It suddenly dawned on me. I could only do one thing in that moment. I needed to figure out a way to pay for the meal my wife and I had just enjoyed and accept what I was experiencing at that moment as best as I possibly could.</span><br />
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<div _mce_style="text-align: center;" style="text-align: center;"><em><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><a _mce_href="mailto:jsobosan@sbcglobal.net" href="mailto:jsobosan@sbcglobal.net">Contact Jim today</a> for a complimentary 30-minute success coaching session.</span></em></div><div _mce_style="text-align: center;" style="text-align: center;"><em><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></em></div><div _mce_style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">And there it was for me! Letting go is really accepting what is happening or what has happened without judging, negotiating, bargaining, redefining or trying to alter the outcome to our satisfaction. </span><strong _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> </strong></div><div _mce_style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">We may not always welcome the experiences we have but we can choose to either obsess over them, close our eyes and wish very hard for a different outcome, live in regret with tons of draining negative emotions or accept it as an event that has occurred and one that does not have to rule over our emotions and destiny. Acceptance is an understanding that we will have good and bad experiences on a daily basis. We frequently do not have control over when and where bad things occur and often cannot comprehend why they happen. We can have control over the attitude we carry forth and the actions we take following any experience.</span></div><div _mce_style="text-align: left;" style="text-align: left;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div> <span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">I believe when you are faced with an unsettling event you will be infinitely more satisfied when you focus on what you have control of in that moment, what action you can take to affect your life in a positive manner and what can be gained; not what has been lost or what should have been. </span><br />
</div>Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291134304155384102.post-91608105266189379512011-12-28T17:27:00.000-08:002012-01-15T10:45:13.293-08:00A Life Less Valued<div style="background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-origin: initial; margin: 8px;"><br />
<div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">How often do you embrace your life’s most cherished moments? What are the simple things in life that bring a smile to your face? What are the gifts of life that bring you the greatest sense of contentment and satisfaction? You know those precious experiences that breathe energy into your spirit and fill your life with meaning and purpose. Our core values remain fairly constant but they can easily be misplaced or lost as we traverse through the pathways of our hectic lives. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Would your choices be different if you were mindful of those experiences that brought the greatest value to your life? Perhaps you might start pursuing personal passions and dreams, engage in meaningful activities with family and friends more often, join a grass roots organization, extend a helping hand to a stranger you pass along the way, join a barber shop quartet, quit your job of 20 years and start that business you have always dreamed of, volunteer time and energy for a cause you embrace. How much more fulfilling would your activities and experiences be if they were aligned with your core values? </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><strong>You get the idea</strong></span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">It is easy to lose our connection to those internal prizes that bring us great rewards. There is the living of life that can derail us within the blink of an eye. There is so much to do, to accomplish in such a short period of time. And what do we have at the end of that time? </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">There are many reasons why we end up distanced from those values and beliefs that hold great power and rewards for us? We are driven to succeed in a frenetic and ever changing world. We are apprehensive of stepping off course, of making changes and of letting go. We are fearful of failing, of disappointing others. We are distracted by the maelstrom that is our daily life. The end result frequently leaves us feeling short-changed in satisfaction, sense of purpose and inner peace. </span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">There is always opportunity to reset your focus and action towards activities more aligned with what you truly value. Greater mindful awareness of what motivates the choices you make will be required. You will need to take the time to reflect on what you do, why you do it and what your rewards are. </span></div><ul style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px;"><li><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Identify and write down your core values </span></li>
<li><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Note how often your choices are guided by these values</span></li>
<li><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">List experiences that have brought you the greatest sense of fulfillment throughout your life. Record any that you have lost sight of along the way that were particularly important to you and that you would like to build back into your life.</span></li>
<li><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Develop a plan of action that allows you to maintain awareness of what you value most and identify how you will build in more experiences that follow you core values and beliefs. </span></li>
<li><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Identify the benefits you will reap by following this action plan. You are much more likely to adhere to a new activity when the benefit is clear.</span></li>
<li><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Schedule time to review choices you make to assure that you are adhering to your action plan. </span></li>
</ul><div _mce_style="text-align: center;" style="font-family: Georgia; text-align: center;"><em><span style="color: blue; font-size: x-small;">The quality of life is determined by the choices we make and we thrive or suffer based upon them. If your choices are determined by your core values, you are destined to thrive. </span></em></div><div _mce_style="text-align: center;" style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; text-align: center;"><em><strong><br />
</strong></em></div><div _mce_style="text-align: left;" style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; text-align: left;"><span _mce_style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><a _mce_href="mailto:jsobosan@sbcglobal.net" href="mailto:jsobosan@sbcglobal.net">Contact Jim today</a> for a complimentary 30-minute success coaching session.</span></div></div>Jim Sobosanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04270328095763526836noreply@blogger.com0